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Few things on this earth define love and service better than marriage.

As you contemplate marriage or working on getting married,

please consider answering these questions for yourself

and especially discussing them with your betrothed.

PRE-MARITAL QUESTIONS:

1. Faith and Spiritual Life
• How important is your relationship with God to you?
• Do we both believe the Bible is God’s Word and our guide for life?
• How do you feel about being part of a church family (Hebrews 10:25)?
• How will we agree on which church we will attend?
• How do you pray and read the Bible, and will we do this together or separately?
• How will we make decisions based on our faith (Proverbs 3:5-6)?
• How should we handle it if we disagree about something spiritual?
• How do you feel about sharing our faith as a couple?

2. Love and Commitment
• What does love mean to you (1 Corinthians 13:4-7)?
• How will we show love to each other every day (Ephesians 5:25)?
• How will we put our marriage first over other things (Genesis 2:24)?
• How do we plan to forgive each other when we make mistakes (Ephesians 4:32)?
• What do you think it means to stay committed for life (Matthew 19:6)?
• How important is being faithful to each other?
• How will we work through problems together?
• What do you believe your role is in marriage, and what is mine?
• How do we plan to put each other's needs before our own (Philippians 2:3-4)?

3. Communication
• What does honesty and openness in communication mean to you (James 1:19)?
• What’s the best way for us to handle disagreements (Proverbs 15:1)?
• How do you express your feelings, and how can I understand you better?
• How should we give and receive constructive feedback (Ephesians 4:15)?
• How much time do we plan to spend talking and sharing with each other every day?
• How will we make sure we’re on the same page with important decisions?

4. Roles and Responsibilities
• What do you think are the husband’s and wife’s roles in marriage (Ephesians 5:22-25)?
• How will we serve each other and help one another (Mark 10:45)?
• How will we divide household chores?
• How will we make big decisions together (Proverbs 15:22)?
• What are our plans for raising children, if we have any (Proverbs 22:6)?
• How will we balance work, home life, and our time together?

5. Finances
• How will we manage our money together (Proverbs 21:5)?
• How do you feel about tithing, giving and generosity (Malachi 3:10)?
• How do you feel about budgeting and saving (Luke 14:28)?
• What are your feelings about being in debt?
• Who will take care of paying bills and budgeting?
• How will we make sure we use our money wisely (Matthew 6:21)?
• How do you feel about sacrifice and living off one income in order to save money for the future?

6. Children and Parenting
• Do we both want children? If so, how many (Psalm 127:3)?
• Do we want children immediately or after a couple years?
• If we wait how do we feel about birth control?
• How will we raise our children in the ways of the Lord (Deuteronomy 6:6-7)?
• How do you feel about discipline and teaching children (Proverbs 13:24)?
• How will we balance time between our marriage and our children?
• How do we handle traditions and family values when raising children?
• Once we have children am I allowed to stay home with the children or will you want me to go to work?
• What if you want me to stay home but I want to go back to work?

7. Intimacy and Affection
• Do you know what the Bible says about physical intimacy in marriage (1 Corinthians 7:3-5)?
• How will we keep romance and affection alive in our marriage (Song of Solomon 1:2)?
• How will we make time for physical closeness even when life gets busy?
• How should we address any concerns about intimacy?
• What are your feelings about oral sex? What if that is something I am uncomfortable with?
• Do you watch pornography?
• Are you a virgin?
• Do you have a problem with us getting physicals and blood work before we get married?

8. Conflict Resolution
• How do we plan to solve conflicts in a godly way (Matthew 18:15)?
• What is the best way to talk about difficult issues?
• How will we make sure anger doesn’t lead to sin (Ephesians 4:26)?
• How will we seek help when we can’t solve a problem ourselves (Proverbs 11:14)?
• Are you quick to forgive or slow to forgive? Do you hold grudges?
• When you are mad with someone how do you treat them? Do you give the silent treatment?

9. Extended Family
• How will we handle relationships with our parents and in-laws (Genesis 2:24)?
• How often will we spend time with extended family?
• How will we set healthy boundaries with family if needed (Mark 3:31-35)?
• How do we plan to celebrate holidays and family traditions?

10. Vision for the Future
• What are our long-term goals as a couple (Amos 3:3)?
• How do we plan to keep God at the center of our marriage (Jeremiah 29:11)?
• How will we handle changes or challenges in our lives together (Ecclesiastes 3:1)?
• How will we keep growing as a couple and as individuals throughout our marriage?
•What happens if you want to move to another state and I don’t?

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